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Candid Career Coach: How to Be a Strong Leader and Regain Control

Written by Clare | Aug 26, 2024 8:00:00 AM

"Dear Career Coach, my employee is toxic, what do I do?"

 

My employee is domineering my leadership and the dynamic is becoming toxic. They contribute good work, but their attitude towards our group projects has become lazy. Their ability to hit deadlines and deliver work has dropped. If they carry on this way, they will end up finding themselves redundant or driven out of the business. But I want to be a good leader, I don’t want to set them up to fail. I’m tired, frustrated and to be honest - raging. What can I do to change this dynamic impacting the team? 

 

Ah, cat and mouse with a colleague - I know it well. I can almost guarantee that you’re at the point where you feel like you have to monitor their work, and no one likes the feeling of their manager breathing down their neck, it’s a recipe for disaster and I understand your frustration. However, you need to decipher first whether this is a blip in their career or if they are simply a ‘bad apple’ who will impact the rest of your team.

 

What is a 'Bad Apple?'

"Bad apples come in all shapes, sizes and disposition. Some are skilled and competent, while others pretend they are. Both are equally bad for the organization. Hence, it becomes imperative for us to recognize one quickly. It is all right to hire an individual without knowing his/her motivation. After all, we all make mistakes. However, it is a crime if we let a bad apple breed and thrive at the cost of good ones."

— Madhan Gopalan, SVP 

 

You might not like my solution, because it’s going to be the same whether you think they’re a bad apple or not, but the outcomes will be slightly different. Just… hear me out on this one.

 

Understand that everybody is human - no quick decisions just yet

Having compassion and understanding doesn’t make you a soft manager, it actually makes you a brilliant one. Even if you know to your core that this person is a ‘bad apple’ and not saveable, you can’t make a click-of-the-finger decision based on your opinion and because they’re rubbing you up the wrong way. This person isn’t a criminal, they’re a human being in your team, and before you plan their exit strategy, there needs to be a window of time for redemption.

 

Is this person aware of the problem?

Self-awareness is amazing, but you’d be surprised how many people don’t have it. You need to consider the personality of the individual that you’re dealing with, their experience level, and their age. If you already know that this person lacks self awareness in other areas, it’s your job to bring this to their attention because they may not even realise what they’re doing (even if you are convinced that they do). Once you’ve done this and created awareness, you can then put performance parameters in place that are rooted in fact as opposed to your opinion, for example:

 

  • Giving them metrics they need to hit 
  • Understand why deadlines aren’t being met and creating new ones
  • Creating healthy distance between you so lines aren’t blurred

 

It’s really important that you step away from the micromanagement approach, because by and large that will drive a bad apple or a good apple out the door. It’s annoying, it’s suffocating, and you’re going to cause yourself more frustration in the long run.


Make it simple for yourself, lay out exactly what your expectations are and explain what support you can offer at a healthy distance. In fact, I don’t think you should change anything beyond giving them clear communication on what you want. Then, sit back and give them a healthy amount of time (4–6 weeks) to improve their work. If someone is truly a bad apple, they will continue to do the bare minimum and become even more frustrated. If someone is, deep down, just going through a hard time - things will improve.

 

 

Remember to remove your ego

It’s hard to not take it personally when an employee in your team is questioning your authority as a manager and disrespecting you, whether that’s through lack of work or backchat. However, involving yourself in the emotions of it all is pointless and not fair on others in your team. You need to remind yourself that you’re a manager and they are not, and in the workplace you don’t get to call the shots on what senior people do when you don’t have the experience yourself. Someone’s behaviour and output at work is a reflection of them, and you shouldn’t have to force someone to do the bare minimum at work. So, stop bleeding yourself dry and let them prove to you - using facts and data - that they can do the job.

 

Finally, invest in team members who are giving you the right attitude and energy

To regain your confidence as a manager, it’s important to have clear boundaries set with people in your team. These people are your colleagues and, in some cases, friends, but they also have to respect your authority at the end of the day. Invest in team members who adhere to this and make you feel good, and spend less of your time invested in someone who doesn’t respect you, it’s really as simple as that.

 

Best of luck!

Yours truly,

The Candid Career Coach