Rejection is something that we will encounter many times in our lives - rejection from a job, an audition, or even a simple “no” is a rejection that we have to deal with daily. We are programmed to associate the word rejection with failure and can be wired to believe that rejection is a direct reflection of our shortcomings or the inability to get what we want.
In fact, rejection can be an excellent gateway for something better, or even shield you from something that was never meant to be in the first place.
When you don’t get the job you interviewed for, it’s easy to think “What did *I* do wrong? What was it about *me* that they didn’t like?”
Taking a step back and removing yourself from the centre of the rejection allows you to see that it’s oftentimes not about you at all. Sometimes it's the interviewer not understanding the extent of your skills, sometimes it’s the company just needing something else, and sometimes it’s the universe turning you towards an even better opportunity!
This doesn’t mean that rejection isn’t painful and confusing, but it’s not a bad thing for us. In fact, it strengthens us and enables us to become better readers and understand situations.
Reframing your mindset towards rejection
To see rejection as a blessing, you need to really work on your mindset. This can be difficult to do - especially when we already have so many preconceived ideas about how rejection should make us feel.
Here are the three key things you need to remind yourself of when faced with rejection:
Rejection promotes motivation
Although we have been conditioned and told that rejection is negative and can bring us down, rejection in fact should promote you to become even more motivated and determined to achieve your goals. Let’s say you’re facing a lot of rejection from interviews - instead of seeing that as a negative reflection on your character and your efforts, use it as fuel to find the perfect company for you.
When individuals are rejected from job roles, it can feel like a kick in the teeth as work is such a big part of our lives. And, if you really like the organisation but they don’t see you as a fit, you can feel emotionally rejected, too. Instead, you need to remind yourself that you’re interviewing the company just as much as they’re interviewing you - and the rejections may mean that you’re missing something in your screening process. Interview them!
Rejection gives us perspective
Sometimes, it takes for us to be rejected or encounter something negative for us to gain perspective on something, or on a situation. Perspective is incredibly important, especially if we become obsessed with achieving something - it can lead us to look past or ignore red flags completely! If we use the same example of being rejected after an interview, it can be difficult to have perspective if it’s a job that you really wanted. When, in reality, taking a step back and looking at the situation from a different viewpoint will enable you to regain perspective and stability!
Forbes produced a great piece on how to gain perspective, stating:
#1 Stop and walk away from what you are doing.
#2 Fight the inclination to ruminate on what you were doing. Instead, allow yourself to think freely.
#3 Return to the task, and think big picture.
#4 Reach out to colleagues/friends
#5 Refocus on the work.
Rejection opens doors for something new
“What’s meant for you, won’t pass you” - is a great mantra to live by so you can enjoy your life and let go of things quicker.
If something didn’t work out, whether that’s a job, relationship, or moving to a new city - there’s always a bigger reason behind it, even if you don’t know it yet. Rejection should be seen as something freeing rather than something that is isolating, and if you can start looking at rejection as a positive feeling/experience rather than negative, then you’ll start to develop a healthier relationship with your mind, as well as the things you look to achieve in your life.
