We all think we’re great communicators. After all, we talk every day, don’t we? But if we’re being honest with ourselves, communicating effectively isn’t about spewing out a bunch of words and calling it a day. It’s far more nuanced than that. Sure, words matter, but it’s what we do with those words that really counts.
Think about it. Have you ever heard someone say something that sounded fine in theory but just didn’t land? Or maybe you’ve had a moment when someone’s facial expression or tone of voice made you rethink every word they just said. That’s because communication isn’t just about words—it’s the tone, the body language, and the emotions behind the message that shape how it’s received. And when you get this mix right, magic happens.
In this blog, we’ll dive into why how you communicate is just as important as what you communicate.
So, you’ve got something important to say, but how are you going to say it? Here’s the kicker: how you say it matters more than you think. Let’s break down the key elements.
You could say “I love that!” with a beaming smile and genuine excitement, or you could say it like you’ve just eaten something nasty. Same words, totally different message. That’s the power of tone. Your tone of voice can make all the difference between sounding supportive and sounding condescending, between sounding confident or unsure, and even between sounding like you care or not. It’s all about intention and delivery.
In a study by the Harvard Business Review, they found that 38% of how people perceive what you're saying is all in the tone. So, next time you speak, think about how your tone is shaping the message. Are you encouraging, or are you just kind of… there?
Here's the thing: you’re not just communicating with words and tone—you’re also communicating with your entire body. Think of the last time someone crossed their arms while you were talking. Did you feel like they were engaged, or did you sense some resistance? That’s your body language doing all the talking.
According to research by The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE), a massive 55% of communication is non-verbal .
So, when you're talking to someone, you’re not just influencing them with your words—you’re influencing them with how you move, how you stand, and even how you look at them.
If you want to communicate effectively, be mindful of your body language. Are your arms open or closed? Are you leaning in or leaning back? Are you looking them in the eye or looking at your phone? It’s not just what you say; it’s what your body is saying too.
Let’s talk about emotions for a minute. Ever noticed how some people just get how you’re feeling? They understand when you’re frustrated, when you need support, and when you need to just vent. That’s emotional intelligence (EQ), and it’s an absolute game-changer in communication. People with high EQ can read emotional cues—both verbal and non-verbal—and respond in a way that is empathetic and appropriate.
It’s easy to focus on delivering information, but being aware of your listener’s emotions can lead to far more productive conversations. Whether you're negotiating a deal or just having a casual chat, understanding the emotions in play helps you craft your message more effectively.
Now that we’ve covered why delivery matters, let’s get into some key principles that will help you up your communication game. These are the building blocks for getting your message across in the most effective way possible.
If you’re trying to sound clever by using jargon, stop right there. The goal of communication isn’t to make yourself look smart; it’s to make sure people understand what you’re saying. Avoid jargon and be clear. Don’t beat around the bush—get to the point, and do it in a way that’s easy to digest.
This isn’t about dumbing things down; it’s about being concise and ensuring your message is received as intended. If you need to read it again to make sense of it, your audience will probably struggle too.
One of the biggest communication pitfalls? Not listening. And we’ve all done it, haven’t we? You’re so eager to say your piece that you forget to actually listen to what the other person is saying. But here’s the thing: people who actively listen—who engage with the speaker, ask clarifying questions, and show they’re really hearing what’s being said—are the ones who build trust and respect.
Active listening is essential. It shows that you value the speaker and helps you to adjust your message to their needs and concerns. It’s the ultimate communication flex.
There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to communication. Different people need different things from a conversation. Maybe your colleague prefers brief, to-the-point exchanges, while your best mate enjoys a long, drawn-out chat. Understanding your audience and adapting your approach accordingly will make you a much better communicator.
Empathy is all about connecting with the other person’s emotional state and tailoring your message to suit it. Whether you're talking to a friend or giving a presentation, adapt your delivery based on what the other person needs.
Confidence is a key part of delivering a message, but there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. No one likes a show-off, but they do appreciate someone who’s assured without being overbearing. When you’re confident in your delivery, you come across as competent and trustworthy—traits that make people more likely to listen to what you’re saying.
Even the best communicators slip up sometimes. Here are a few common pitfalls—and how to avoid them.
Speak at a pace that’s comfortable for your audience to follow. Rushing through your words may make you seem nervous or that you’re not giving the message enough weight. On the flip side, speaking too slowly can make you sound unsure or boring. Find that sweet spot where your pace matches your message.
A monotone voice is the quickest way to make someone’s mind wander. Injecting some variation into your pitch, speed, and pauses can make your message more engaging. The key is to sound natural, not robotic.
We’ve all been guilty of using “um,” “like,” and “you know.” But overuse of these fillers can undermine your credibility. Take a moment before responding instead of reaching for those crutches. It’ll make you sound more thoughtful and confident.
Pay attention to how people are reacting to what you’re saying. Are they nodding? Are they checking their phones? Adjust your delivery based on their cues. If they’re looking confused, slow down and clarify. If they’re engaged, keep going.
Want to sharpen your communication skills? Here are some tips to put into practice:
Effective communication is a mix of words, tone, body language, and emotional intelligence. When you master the art of delivery, you’ll find that your messages land with more impact, your relationships improve, and your professional and personal interactions become more meaningful.
So, take a moment to reflect on your own communication style. Are you paying attention to all the elements of communication, or are you just focusing on the words? A few small adjustments could make a huge difference.
For more insights on mastering communication, be sure to check out our other articles on improving workplace dynamics and enhancing emotional intelligence in your conversations.
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